December 09, Moving the blog

Dear Everyone, I can't stand that the date says November 3rd for EVERY SINGLE POST. Therefore this blog is moving to mommybecoming.blogspot.com Hopefully we will not have this problem again. Unfortunatly I think you will need to re-sign up as "followers"

December 8. Fifteen weeks and 3 days, Moving

Baby is the size of an apple this week! If I were to shine a flashlight right on my belly, the baby would be able to tell the difference in light. Baby is also apparently breathing/swallowing amniotic fluid.

We moved last weekend. What a job! It went very smoothly for a move; I had everything packed except the cold goods and I had most everything stacked out in the garage. Nathan got home late Friday night and on Saturday morning the men came to move us. Our Pastor and his dad Terry came with their trucks, then Melissa’s husband Thomas and Marshall, another guy from church, came with Marshall’s truck and a trailer. They got everything moved over in one load, with the exception of our grill and Nathan’s motorcycle, which we’ll have to go back for. I spent Saturday and Sunday unpacking. Melissa was a huge help to me—she’s definitely a girl after my own heart in organization and cleanliness, among other things. I would say we’re about half way unpacked, but I have my entire kitchen and bathroom done, the living room mostly done, and the bedroom mostly done. What’s left is pretty much stuff like books (I have to wait to buy bookshelves), knickknacks, and various other random stuff.
 And in answer to prayer, Marshall gave us a fridge, washer and dryer, and couch and loveseat. All we need (well, I’d like) a desk, dressers, and baby furniture. We also need some kind of outdoor dog run for Lily.
Melissa is staying with me for the week (Yay! Girl time!) and we’ll be able to spend time together, and hopefully do some more unpacking and make some Christmas cookies. As I mentioned, Nathan was home for the weekend which was incredibly helpful as it took the stress off me about “I’m not supposed to lift over X amount of weight but this is my crap so I should be helping…” In fact, he put me in time out at one point on Saturday morning, which I thought was funny. He stayed until after his jury duty on Monday morning, and left last night. His company was going to keep him gone until the 18th, but that’s when we’re supposed to leave for Ohio for Christmas with my family. Plus, our ultrasound is on the 17th and of course he really wants to go to that with me. I guess he called one of his bosses and they knocked down the number of stores he’s supposed to do from 4 to 2, which will put him home either this coming weekend or early next week. They’re not typically too flexible about work trips, but I’m reasonably sure that Nathan wasn’t being too flexible either. He’d already asked for the time off, and he really didn’t want to miss finding out what Baby is OR delaying our trip start. I’m so incredibly excited for Christmas and seeing my family! Mom says she’s got a lot of stuff planned and that I’m going to sleep all the way back to Texas. I told her that was fine since it’s a long trip!

Need blogger help

Can any of you guys who know blogspot well tell my why in the world every single post is dated November 3rd? And how I can fix it?

Moving!

Tomorrow we are moving!! I am so very excited and happy. We have been living for the past several months with Nathan’s sister and her husband. (We have not been mooching. We have always paid at least half of everything.) This is because we had decided at the beginning of the year to buy a house, and when we talked to a mortgage broker he told us we need to do credit repair on Nathan for 6 months. The lease on our rental house was up, and since Nathan’s sister was about to have a baby and needed financial help, it was decided that we’d live in their spare room and it would benefit both of us. Unfortunately, at the end of the sixth month period, we were 10, count them 10, points short of the desired credit score. “Wait another 3 months,” the mortgage broker said. “Let’s rent a place for a while,” I said. We decided to wait and stayed there for another three months. Then we had the credit checked again and we were 1 measly point under. At that point (mid-November) we decided to look for a place to rent . The living situation there had been becoming more and more difficult, and it truly was a “need” to find a rental house. The difficulty in finding a rental was that it had to be pet-friendly (We have a Basset hound and 2 cats), it had to have either a garage or a locking shed for Nathan’s motorcycle, and it had to be under a certain price.

As God does, he provided us with a place that meets all of those needs! We found a small brick home on the outskirts of town that has a one car garage (but is big enough for my car and Nathan’s motorcycle), is pet friendly, and has three bedrooms! Now, granted, they are small rooms but it is quite sufficient for us! We have a room for us, a room for baby, and a room for all of you who I know will want to come see us and our new little addition to the family! AND it is for a very low price, less than we were paying for the one bedroom house we lived in when we got married. We are moving in on Saturday. Unfortunately, on Monday night (or was it Tuesday?) Nathan got called to work to go to Arizona. We really need the money, so he had to go, which left it up to me to do the packing and figure out the move. For the THIRD TIME!!! I think he plans to go out of town whenever we have to move. So I have spent the past several days packing and trying not to pick up anything too heavy. Melissa is coming to stay with me tonight to help me finish up packing (or to sit around and look pretty depending on her level of pain—she just got a nasty tooth pulled!) and our pastor and his dad (and possibly other men) are coming Saturday morning with their trucks to help us move. Praise God for church family and for all of His provisions!

Here are a few prayer requests:
1) We need a fridge. For free. Please pray someone will be generous. I am really trusting God for this one, cause I’m out of pennies.
2) Please pray that many men with trucks will show up Saturday morning to move us
3) Please pray for my hips. I’ve had trouble with them hurting almost since I got pregnant, and all of the packing and carrying and overdoing it has left it extremely painful for me to walk.
4) We also need furniture (we have a bed!) and a washer and dryer. Obviously we can do craigslist or goodwill or garage sales, and I certainly intend to, but if you could pray that people could give us things that would be such a blessing. They don’t need to be new. A coat of paint is cheap and will work wonders.

"Things"--in no particular order

Things that make me cry

(And I’ll have you know that 4 months ago, if I’d caught myself crying at any of these things, I would have laughed at myself for being such a girl)

1) Love songs/sad songs/most songs on the country radio station
2) Commercials that picture a parent with their newborn (thanks a lot Huggies!)
3) Reading touching birth stories
4) Reading stories about miscarriages
5) Abortion pictures
6) Deliveries on TLC shows like “I didn’t know I was pregnant” and “Baby Story”, etc.
7) Pretty much anything that has to do with emotion between a mother and her baby.
8) Pretty much any Hallmark commercial
9) Thinking about anyone I love dying
10) Feeling overwhelmed

Things that make me really irritated

1) If I’ve gone too long without eating, I get irritable
2) Being woken up if I’ve already fallen asleep
3) People making my pregnancy into a competition—that doesn’t irritate me it makes me ANGRY!
4) Packing and moving without my husband’s help

Things that make me happy!
(This would be a veeeery long list so I’ll try to cull it down. There are many many things my husband does but I will just pick my favorites)

1) When Nathan puts his hands on my belly and says “Hi baby”
2) When Nathan makes supper because I’m really tired
3) When he says, “Baby, I’m sorry but you need to roll onto your side” (This could be irritating, except I asked him to tell me and he does it sweetly)
4) When Nathan asks me questions about what’s happening with the baby
5) People who give me their old baby stuff for free
6) Moving into a new place
7) Advice from WELL-MEANING people
8) Cloudy, rainy days
9) My church family
10) Nice cool weather

Fire

Growing up in the bush in Africa I saw a lot of fires. Bush fires that you work frantically to beat out, house fires with the roofs ablaze and people screaming at the top of their lungs. Fires from lightning, from a cooking fire, from a stray spark. My brother, when he was little, he was terrified of fire. If we watched a movie with a fire scene we had to turn the TV off and fast-forward so he wouldn’t see it. But I wasn’t scared of fire. Dad (and Smokey the Bear) taught us to respect it and to be careful with it, but not to be afraid of it.

When I was 19 I was working in Niger as a dorm parent and one afternoon when I was making an after school snack for the kids I was heating up oil. I turned to the other counter with my back to the oil for just a few seconds and by the time I turned back around, the oil was on fire. There was no fire blanket, and the fire extinguisher was wired closed (REALLY? Who does that?) By the time the fire got put out the above-stove microwave was melted and there was soot EVERYWHERE. I had a huge mess to clean up, and I learned a lesson about checking the fire extinguishers, but I still wasn’t really scared of fire.

In fact, I enjoy fire. I love sitting around a bonfire or a fireplace and watching the flames dance and tell stories. Some of my favorite memories revolve around a bonfire. I guess I didn’t realize that subconsciously one of those past experiences must’ve made an impact. A couple years ago I was watching a movie and fell asleep. Some time later I was woken by the sound of a fire alarm. I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my jacket, and was headed for the door when I realized my friends weren’t moving. I urged them to get out of the house and they looked puzzled until one of them told me it was just the movie. A few weeks ago Nathan was watching TV and I fell asleep and woke up to a flickering red light on the wall. Heart pounding and adrenalin racing I bolted upright just to realize that it was the colors from the TV. Then last night a sound woke me up around 4 or 5 and I saw the light of a flickering flame one the wall. Again, I got a rush of adrenaline and my heart started pounding—the fight or flight response—until I rolled over and saw that Nathan had come home from work, and he had his lit Zippo sitting on the nightstand as a light while he plugged his phone in. “Nathan!” I gasped, and rolled back over.

I don’t know if this keeps happening because a lot of the house fires that stand out the most clearly in my mind happened after dark, or if this is just my brain’s way of standing guard. Either way, I could sure do without the adrenaline rush in the middle of the night. I takes a while to get back to sleep!

14 weeks, 2 days

Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

We had quite an eventful weekend. We stayed with our friends Melissa and Thomas from Wednesday night until Friday afternoon. Thursday Melissa and I went to help with a Thanksgiving dinner the church was putting on for the homeless, but basically our entire congregation was there. Which is great, but sometimes too many hands just makes more mess. We stayed for about 10 minutes and then left. I think they should’ve had people sign up for shifts, rather than all show up at once. So we went home and got our dinner started, then went down the road to Melissa’s Grandparents house. They had some family drama, but I told Melissa that we were avoiding ours this year and we’d much rather watch theirs! We stayed for an hour or two and then went back to their place. We had our dinner late in the evening and Melissa’s mom and her boyfriend came over. It was very nice and relaxing.

Friday I had to work but my boss let me leave early. I went back to M&T’s and we hung out for a while, then Nathan and I packed up our stuff and took Lily (our basset hound) back to our house. Then we met up with M&T and went to the big Christmas parade in downtown Fort Worth! It’s an awesome parade—definitely the biggest this small town girl has ever seen! After the parade they light a ginormous Christmas tree right in the middle of the city. We received an unexpected blessing in the way of 4 tickets to sit! The planners or whoever line the streets with seats but you have to pay to sit in them—which is expensive! But this lady was driving along next to us and just offered us tickets, and she had four so we could all sit! How cool is that? (Disclaimer: I did not take these photos. I found them on the internet--thanks Mr. G.oogle!)

Saturday we went out to Nathan’s parents house so he could work on his truck. He wanted to go back out there Sunday after church but it was raining, so we went back to the house and sat around for the rest of the day. And I found out that Mellissa and Thomas are moving away.

13 weeks, 2 days

Baby is about the size of a peach this week! Only three and a half more weeks until we get an ultrasound to try to find out the little shrimp's gender. Be a good baby and cooperate for Mama and Daddy!


Saturday was my birthday. Nathan gave me some movies and a hair straightener which was what I asked for. His work had called and said he was going to Florida (and all points to Nathan—he asked me if it was okay if he left on my birthday and I told him yes because this is his off season and he doesn’t get a lot of work) So I had to drop him off at the office and then I went home and had a pity party in my bedroom. Then Andrea (SIL) and Daphne (MIL) got me a cake and cnadles and I was sitting there playing with Alie (neice) when Nathan walked through the front door! He said he didn’t have to leave until Sunday morning. What a waste of a pity party, I tell ya! So we went to the mall, and then to church because I had praise practice, and then we went out to eat and went home to watch one of my movies. We had planned to go into downtown to eat and walk around but I was too tired. It was a good birthday, once Nathan came home.

Here are a couple of belly pictures. 4 weeks...

10 weeks...
And 13 weeks!

12 Week Dr Appointment

Yesterday was Baby’s three month doctor appointment. We got to hear the heartbeat, and Dr. H felt my uterus and showed us where it is, and then…drumroll please…announced that we will be having our ultrasound at our next appointment! I will be almost 17 weeks so if Baby cooperates we will find out the gender, and we will get to see it and hear its heartbeat. This appointment will be the day before we leave for Ohio for Christmas, so if all goes well I’ll be able to tell my family what it is. I’m also hoping that by that time I will be feeling the baby move, although others probably won’t be able to feel it yet. A childhood friend of Nathan’s sister has offered to give us some kind of home Doppler so my family will be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat as well. LOTS to be excited about next month. And, Saturday is my birthday!

On a less pleasant note, there is no heat at work today and it is very cold outside. It is 65 degrees in this office, people. These are not humane conditions. Prisoners of war are treated better than this. This is ridiculous!

12 weeks, 2 days

According to babycenter.com, this week: The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

Nathan's cousin's girlfriend had a baby shower this weekend, which was fun. She's having a little boy. Afterwards we went out to a fish fry at Cousin G's house. Cousin G is my favorite of Nathan's cousins. He and his wife have a little girl and a little boy, both of which are just too cute and funny! We had catfish and shrimp breaded with Zataran's and deep fried in a turkey fryer outside. It was SOOOO good! Especially the shrimp. Sunday after church I talked Nathan into trying out a little Mom and Pop cafe for lunch. They actually served RC in canning jars! I finally got to try fried green tomatoes, and had a chicken fried steak sandwich for lunch, and he (surprise surprise) had a burger. I thought it was good food and a cute atmosphere, but he didn't like his french fries. I love trying out little podunk eateries rather than hitting up Jack in the Box. We went down to his parents so he could work on his truck, but around 4 it started pouring. So we walked down to his Grandma's so I could play with my cats and he could watch the Cowboys game. Oh! I also went to a garage sale with Melissa on Saturday morning and scored a large box of maternity clothes for $15, about 15 bottles (4 oz size) for $2, a large coleman cooler for $5, a couple blankets for the outreach ministry at church, a christmas present for my neice, 6 pictures that are from England, and all for only $35. The pictures from England are the exact same ones that my parents bought after our boat ride on the Thames when we took our trip to London when I was 10. They were very expensive in London, but I got them with frames for $0.50 apeice. Yay for good deals and childhood memories!

As usual, the weekend was far too short.

Stroller

My mommy bought us a Graco travel system yesterday!! I’m not sure if she found it on craigslist or if she got it on the Cedarville classifieds but she got a really good deal on it. It’s used, but looks to me like it’s in perfectly good condition. And it'll work for a boy OR a girl.

Mostly this post is to praise my honey for being so helpful. He makes our dinner quite frequently, he asks me if I want him to do anything around the house (and if I do ask he typically does it), he gets me ginger ale in the evening when I don’t feel good, and he’s just being all-around great. I appreciate you babe! Thanks for all your help.

Night on the town

Saturday night Nathan and I and friends went to Uno’s Chicago Pizza in downtown Fort Worth. It was SOOOOO excellently yummy. That’s my new favorite pizza. The crust is flaky and buttery goodness, the sauce was great, and it had lots of cheese. MMMmm. It was really fun to walk around downtown at night. It seems like the trendy thing to do and there are art galleries and street singers and it’s just a neat experience. There are carriage rides and people dressed up and, well, people not dressed much at all! When my brother was here we went to a comedy club downtown and took him. I won the tickets through a work thing. I wasn’t really impressed with the comedy, but then I’m not impressed with most comedy because of the crudity. It was, however, a neat experience and something that I’d never done before. Sunday after church we went to Nathan’s mom and dad’s so that he could work on his truck (76 chevy longbed-being-converted-to-shortbed) He worked on his truck, and I went inside and watched the Hallmark channel. They were doing a marathon event of the movies off Janette Oke’s Love Comes Softly series, which I read many moons ago.

I forgot to take pictures, but I did get some more clothes. My mom send me a package for my birthday. I got a shirt that is the same one as the one Aunt Nancy bought me (the teal one) but in one size up, and a pair of brown slacks. She also send me a couple of books. One of them is really special because all the preggo’s who have read it before me have written in it about their pregnancy. It’s kind of a devotional book with a little section for each day of pregnancy. It’s really neat, but I didn’t get far because I started seeing comments in my mom’s handwriting and then I started boo-hooing about how I want my mom. So I’ll return to that one on another day. Mom also enclosed a letter that she wrote for my baby, which is very special. Then Mom called and said she’d found me LOTS of things at goodwill. She sent me pictures but you know how phone pictures are. I want to see them in real life when they get here. My MIL, Daphne, bought the baby a Halloween costume for next year. I haven’t decided how I feel about Halloween yet. Nathan grew up trick or treating and celebrating Halloween, and I grew up NOT trick or treating. We carved pumpkins, and celebrated harvest time, but not Halloween. I guess I need to sit down and really think about how I feel from a perspective as a Christian. Many of the churches around here have a “Harvest Festival” on the night of Halloween and in my humble opinion that seems like a much better idea.

11 weeks, 2 days

According to babycenter.com, Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming

A lot of the first trimester symptoms are starting to ease off a little. I’m usually only queasy at night now, rather than all day. I’m still really tired, and my hips hurt very badly. I actually got a night last week where I didn’t have to get up to go to the bathroom. And it seems like even though I’m tired, I haven’t slept well since about five weeks. I wake up several times through the night and wake up wished I could sleep another five hours! Sometimes it would be nice to be a cat. Eat, sleep, play a little, sleep, eat, sleep, sleep, sleep…

Overall I enjoy being pregnant. It’s not always fun, but I like it. I was trying to explain it to Nathan but I don’t think he understands. It feels like I’m doing what I was created to do, and for the first time I might like my body. I like the feeling of life inside me, and taking care of it for months. I’m excited to feel movement and to get a real “baby bump”. Of course , around month nine I’m told that I will wish the baby belly would NOT be quite so big, and that the long-anticipated movements will then be bruising my ribs and making me wet my pants. Haha, well, I can enjoy it now!

Stuff for Baby Mama

I'm not the only preggo at work. One of my supervisor's, Kristine, is pregnant and due in late Jan/early Feb and Jenny, who works downstairs, is also due around then. Yesterday Kristine gave me two of her books that she no longer wanted, as this is her last baby.


I started reading The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy last night and so far it's hilarious. It's the best pregnancy book I've read yet. I will give it a more in-depth review when I'm finished with it. I haven't looked at the baby name book yet, since we already have a couple picked out, but I'll get to it eventually. Then Jenny sent me a link on "uddercovers" http://www.uddercovers.com/ along with a discount code. With my mom's advice I decided to go ahead and get the cover in the color I wanted. I also decided to get the set instead of just the cover, for a $5 difference. The cover has a piece of hard plastic in the neckline so that you can look at your baby, and also has an adjustable neck strap. Mom said that when babies get bigger they flail their arms and legs and will knock a blanket off, so she recommended the neck strap. Plus it's pretty.


The set also comes with a pair of breast pads and a bracelet that helps you keep track of what side you last nursed on, at what time, and for how long.


For all of this, ladies and gentlemen, I paid a grand total of $13.95 after shipping. I saved a total of $43.85, because the item was on sale and then I had the discount code from Jenny. Not a bad deal, I think. Then the website also sells a ten pack of breast pads for $32.95 plus $8.95 shipping. With that same discount code, when I order them next week they will only cost me $9.90--shipping included. I did a little price comparison: Target, 3 pair, $17.99, Babies r Us, Avent 3 pair (with all bad recommendations), $6.99. So I'm getting a huge deal. I may even order a couple of packs. I love a great deal!

4 and 10 weeks belly

Four weeks and Ten weeks. Pretty self-explanatory

Maternity Clothes

My mom wants a post about the maternity clothes I have so far. I had bought myself a pair of pants and a sweater. I don't wear the pants yet because they are too big, but my normal pants don't button very comfortably any more either. I could go buy a pair of oh-so-fashionable low rise jeans like many pregnant women wear, since they go below the baby bump, but every time you sit down your butt sticks out of the pants. So they are out for me. What I'm currently doing is doubling a thick rubber band through the loop and hooking it on the button. Then I zip the zipper about halfway.

The thing is, I need extra long shirts to modestly cover the half unzipped pants. I have a few, but not enough for all week. So last weekend I was planning to go buy some longer shirts. But, Friday night I got home and found a package from my Aunt Nancy! As a "Congratulations on the Baby" gift, she sent me two pretty maternity shirts and a rockin' tote she had made for me in Niger. What an answer to prayer! Now I have five shirts that are appropriate for work that also cover the zipper and I have room for my belly to grow. I will shop the second hand baby stores for used maternity wear now. I found a really nice shirt for 5 dollars that was about 40 brand new!

This is one of the shirts from Aunt Nancy. It's a brown and white pattern with smocking on top and a tie in the back. Sorry the pictures on some of these aren't great...the lighting in my bedroom is bad for pictures.

This is the teal one

This is the sweater I got from Motherhood Maternity

This is Nathan modeling the sweater! Hahahahah! He didn't know I was going to put it up here. You can't really tell from the picture but he had a 9 month pillow belly and was waddling with his hands on the small of his back. It was hilarious!

Then there's me wearing the teal shirt (that's the real color) and the shirt with the sweater unbutttoned. These are from Sunday morning before church. It was my week to sing to I was trying to dress up. I ended up not wearing the sweater though because it was warm.

That's it! I will try to put up pictures when I get new stuff.

10 weeks 2 days

According to babycenter.com, this week: He's the size of a shrimp-- a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

I also read in another book that the brain is developing 250,000 neurons PER MINUTE now, isn't that crazy!!!

Usually I get my weekly photos on i-am-pregnant.com but I didn't like the one for week ten so I used google images to find it. What came up on my screen were heartbreaking, graphic images of little 10 week old aborted fetuses It’s not like I haven’t seen those kind of pictures before—I have. But they seemed even more heartbreaking to me now because that’s what I’m carrying inside me. The pictures I put up every week are great, but I don’t know if they are pictures of real babies or if they are wax models. These pictures are obviously real babies. I am not going to put them up here because they are very graphic, but you can find them if you really want to see. They have perfectly formed little fingers and itty bitty toes. Their heads and torsos are still a little out of proportion, but they still look like teeny humans. It makes me cry to see them, murdered because their someone didn’t want to be inconvenienced. I distinctly remember when my dad told me about abortion, and how it was done. We were driving along the road and it was just us. I was either 10 or 11, the year we were in the States and I went to public school, and I was asking him because girls at school were talking about getting them. When he told me what they did it made me so sick I almost had to throw up on the side of the road. Then when I was older I saw this picture somewhere.


This doctor was doing a spinal surgery on this 21 or 22 week old fetus. Legally, he could’ve aborted it, but he chose to heal instead of kill. I don’t mean this post to be morose, but seeing these pictures really hit hard. May God give my baby health and enough time in my uterus to grow and be healthy. And may Obama not pass the health bill, or at least not the part about abortions.

Hormones, anyone?

Wow. I was irritable last night. I haven’t been that irritable since I was on the Depo-Provera shot, which is why I know that it’s hormones and not me. (If you or anyone you love is thinking about getting the Depo shot, talk to me first and I’ll tell you why in the name of all the is Holy you should NOT) I’m talking about the kind of irritable that puts you so on edge you feel like the irritation is crawling under your skin and trying to come out your fingertips. Literally. It started when I went to bed around 10. Nathan was already asleep, since he’s been working nights and sleeping days. He was sleeping in the middle of our King size bed. I asked him a few nights ago to please sleep on his side of the bed instead of the middle, because I need to sleep with a body pillow to be comfortable right now and there wasn’t room for the 3 of us all on my side of the bed. Well last night I was trying to sleep wrapped around the body pillow with Nathan right up against me and I was irritated. Now the reason I know this wasn’t me is because I typically love to have him sleep next to me. But all I wanted was space. I think part of the problem was that I was feeling sick to my stomach and every time he touched me I felt like throwing up. Then I started getting claustrophobic, there between him and my pillow, so I give up some comfort and kick the pillow to the floor. Finally , a little space. I drift off to sleep. Next thing I know, Nathan’s phone is blaring out some rock song on the nightstand RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEAD!!! In a daze I hit at it, thinking it’s my alarm. It falls to the floor and stops ringing. I doze back off. Then it starts trilling notes to signal a voicemail. I think I said a dirty word in my head. I pick up the phone and listen to the voicemail. It’s one of Nathan’s supervisors, so I tell Nathan to call him. I fall back to sleep. A couple minutes later the phone rings. Now he’s talking and I can’t sleep. I want to claw him. He hangs up, and I go back to sleep. The phone rings again, same routine. At this point I have a horrible mean nasty thought: “I wish my husband would have to go to work tonight so I can have the bed to myself.” Almost no sooner do I think that than he tells me he has to get up and go to work. He puts his arm around me to cuddle for a minute (another thing I usually love) and I find it all I can do to reciprocate with my hand on his side. Every time he moves the bed moves and my stomach revolts. The irritation is trying to bust out my fingertips. I want to scream, “Don’t touch me! Just leave so I can sleep!”

“Wow,” I hear you saying, “What a little twirp she is!” Yes, I’m not proud of the way I felt about things last night. BUT, here’s the good part. I realized that my poor husband wasn’t actually doing anything wrong except for breathing. I realize that pregnancy can make you very irritable at times. And so, with the rational part of my brain still working a little, I held my tongue. I did not snap at Nathan. I was not mean or irritable to my sleeping husband. The only thing I said to him was that his supervisors owed me for half an hour of missed sleep and three wake ups. I told him I loved him. I gave him a kiss and a hug. I thanked God for self-control, and fell asleep. At this point I can’t always control if I feel sick or irritated. But I can control how I react to those feelings. I’ll blame the crying over stupid commercials on tv on pregnancy. That won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ll blame my forgetfulness on Pregnancy Brain—I really can’t control much of that one. But if I snap at my honey because I’m irritated, or I hurt his feelings then that one’s on me. I’m sure that I may not always catch it before it spews out of my mouth, but with God’s help I’ll do my best. I really don’t want to be one of those pregnant shrew ladies like we saw at the maternity store last weekend.

First Baby purchase

My mom told me a while ago that when she was pregnant with me, and feeling sick and tired, a friend bought her some bibs. She said they helped remind her what is was all for. I thought I would do the same thing, so when I was at Walmart Friday evening I went looking through the baby gear. Obviously we don't yet know Baby's gender, so I had to get something neutral. I found this adorable little pair of baby booties.

They are sooo incredibly soft. And it really does help. I have them on my nightstand and I look at them and touch them and think about someday putting them on a teeny little baby and it makes me feel better. When I'm tired or sick or sore or getting up to potty in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!! I see them and it doesn't seem so bad. I also think that dream I wrote about a few posts down is a gift from God. The dream re-plays in my head and I feel the emotions again and it makes things seems worthwhile.

9 weeks, 1 day

This week our baby is the size of an olive! According to babycenter.com, Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

I had a very PB moment yesterday. (PB is pregnancy brain.) I stopped to get gas as I was on E and managed to get the cap open, the pumper in the tank, the 89 button compressed, and was standing there holding to handle to pump gas. It wouldn't pump anything, so I kept releasing and squeezing the handle. Then I realized I had my bank card in my other hand, and hadn't paid for the gas. DUH! Hahaha. I had to laugh at myself.

This morning Nathan and I were about to head out the door for church, all I had to do was fill up my water bottle. I turned on the cold water tap and got sprayed all across the stomach and chest. While I was drying my hair Nathan had tied the sprayer handle down so that when the water came on it would spray out instead of come out the tap. He was standing there laughing at me so hard! I tried to get mad at him but it WAS pretty funny. I told him I was going to leave it for the next person, so we blow dried my shirt and went to church. We were sitting in the sanctuary waiting for church to start when his sister texted him, "You a$$". We were both cracking up, and about five minutes later she texted him and said, "I just did it again!" She left it on and got Justyn with it too. Too funny. So we got home from church and, being preggo, I had to potty AGAIN. I sat down and felt something funny, so I jumped up and they had saran wrapped the toilet!! It's a good thing I had to go before Nathan did because he wouldn't have seen it!

Dreams

For the last several weeks, I guess since the pregnancy hormones have been really strong, I have been having dreams several nights a week. And I’m not talking about your normal, run of the mill dreams. I’m talking about dreams in vivid color, perfect clarity, minute detail. These dreams are very similar to the dreams that are a side effect of the antimalarial Mefloquine (which were never bad for me). I don’t mind the dreams. They aren’t frightening, just entertaining, and sometimes they help me make sense of things I’ve been thinking about. Well last night one of my dreams was about my baby.

I dreamed that I’d just had our baby, and it was a boy, and Nathan and I were leaking tears of joy and counting all of the little fingers and toes. I held him against my chest and rocked him, and then my dream cut to the next scene and I was breastfeeding for the very first time. I was holding Baby in the football hold while he suckled and all of a sudden he looked up at me with his beautiful round eyes and the world receded and I felt the most incredible rush of emotions that I’ve never felt before. It’s hard for me to describe but maybe “real” moms will understand, if this is something that you really feel. I felt this intense unconditional love like I’ve never felt before; different from the way I love my husband, and mixed in with that was intense joy and thankfulness, incredible protectiveness, and more unknown emotion that I can’t even put words to so I will call it the “mother emotion”. Maybe you moms can tell me if you felt anything similar when you looked at your babies or held them or bonded with them. I think I might’ve just gotten a taste of what a mother’s love feels like from the mother’s end.

Now the funny part about this dream and all of the dreams is that I can always feel the emotions, and I can feel and see any actions that I’ve felt or seen before, but if the action is something I’ve never experienced, my mind skips over it. For example, I’ve never felt labor, so labor wasn’t in my dream. I was pregnant, and then I had a baby. Too bad it isn’t really that painless! I’ve never breastfed so I don’t know what it feels like, so in my dream the baby was just there. I could see him latched on, and I could feel myself holding him, but I couldn’t feel the feeding. Isn’t is incredible the way your mind works? The dream left me with lots of warm fuzzies.

Here’s the other thought that I’ve been chawing on. I’m sure that this thought is not unique to me; that many pregnant women have had it before, but this is me being truly honest. I’m pretty sure that God made us be pregnant for so long so that we have time to adjust psychologically. When I first found out I was pregnant, I wasn’t thrilled. We hadn’t wanted to have children for several years and while I didn’t pray for a miscarriage, in the back of my mind (where I wouldn’t admit it even to myself because I felt so horrible) I kind of wanted one. Then on October 3rd, the day after our first doctor’s appointment, I started to bleed. And I got scared that I was going to lose my baby. And I realized that I didn’t want to lose it, that I might not have planned for it but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want it. I think that was about 5 weeks. Well the bleeding stopped after 2 weeks and I was glad that I still had the baby, but still not really excited. After all, I couldn’t feel it. I couldn’t bond with it. I couldn’t see it. I was sick, and tired, but there was no visible reason for it.

Fast forward to this past Tuesday, when we had our sonogram and got to hear Baby’s heartbeat for the first time. This is the first day that I’ve been truly excited about my baby. I’ve been happy, but not excited. But I tell you, seeing the little kidney bean squirming around down there was the most exciting part of my pregnancy to date. And hearing its heartbeat?! Oh my! I was thrilled. I looked at Nathan with a huge goofy smile. The sickness and tiredness and fainting and scarred face is all for a reason! There’s a little human in there, a part of me and my husband and a reminder of the love we share for each other. It became suddenly real to me. Now I feel the emotion clogging up the back of my throat. Now I feel pregnant. Now I’m excited about it. And I can’t wait until my baby is developed enough so that I can talk to it and sing to it and read to it. I’m eager to feel it poking me and to be able to poke it back. I look forward to the day I’ll hold it in my arms and rock it and sing to it and love it.

I refuse to feel guilty about my first emotions. I think that they are very common, especially in moms who didn’t plan to be pregnant. I think that a majority of women feel these feelings, and are afraid to admit they do because they might be castigated. I think they are fairly normal. I know I have another 8 months of roller coaster emotions to go, but I think that’s part of the point of this long pregnancy. I think God designed it that way for a reason.

Car Trouble, Baby's first picture

Today was our 8 week appointment. Nathan is working 2 hours away in Corsicana this week, and we really wanted him to be here for the appointment since it was our first sonogram and the first time we'd get to hear the baby's heartbeat. The plan was that I would drive down to get him, come back for the appointment, take him back, and then come home. Like a good wifey I left this morning to go get him but my car was shaking and jiving down the road and I was really scared to drive it. Then I started to hear noises like a tire was about to blow up. I pulled over and looked for the jack in the trunk, but we apparently don't have one. I started snuffling and boo-hooing (HORMONES people; normally I'm a "fix-it" kind of person) and called Nathan. I tried to call Daphne (my MIL) to bring me a jack, but found out she was sick in bed. So I called Melissa, who was in school but had her husband Thomas with her. He came out with a jack and put my spare on for me, then followed me to the house and put my old tire on. VERY sweet of them both, and highly appreciated. Unfortunately, I knew that by the time I waited for someone to come rescue me and fix my tire I wouldn't have time to get out to Corsicana and and still make my Dr. appointment in time. I knew Nathan didn't really want to drive himself up here, because he usually sleeps during the day and works nights so he wasn't sure he would be able to stay awake to drive. I called him and told him I wouldn't be mad if he couldn't be here, that I understood and would rather he not drive if he thought he might have an accident. But, his supervisor Matt told Nathan that if he didn't drive up here for the appointment than he would fire him! Matt is such a nice guy. He gave Nathan permission to sleep at home and drive back down to Corsicana later, and to come into work late tonight.

We went to the appointment which was a Sonogram and Dr. visit. They did the Sono first and it was just the COOLEST thing!! We got to see our baby and hear its heartbeat rushing away in there. 173 beats a minute sounds really fast! Angie was our technician and she was very sweet and put us right at ease. She took time to answer all of our questions. She said that I have a large cyst on my right ovary, which is apparently very normal. The nurse told us that the cyst releases progesterone, which helps support the baby until the amniotic sac is formed at around 12 weeks. Right now, baby still has a yolk sac (marked YS on the pictures). We were told that the cyst should disappear later in pregnancy. Nathan got a chance to ask the Dr. about my little fainting spell, and I think he's not as worried now. Also, I haven't gained any weight. In fact, I weight less than the last time I went in. They haven't said anything at all to me about what to gain, but I think it's about a half pound a month for the first three months or something like that. Obviously its not a concern, since nobody said anything about it. So, next visit in a month.

On the left Baby looks like it has a little halo. That's the yolk sac. From left to right its Rump, Head, Yolk sac. Then in the picture on the right it's all labeled. It looks like a little peanut!

In the bottom picture, on the left you can see the umbilical cord going from the baby to the placenta. In the right picture you can see the arm bud, which Angie marked, and a leg bud on the lower right. Another really cool thing was that we could actually see Baby's heart beating, fluttering away in its tiny chest. Technology--pretty cool! I was so excited to see it and hear it. I feel like there really is a baby now, and now I'm excited about it. It's really there!

Big Lip

I don't know if any of you have every seen the move Dick and Jane, with Jim Carrey, but there is a scene where Jane volunteers to do some medical testing to make money and she gets some kind of botox-like injection in her top lip. She has an allergic reaction to it and her upper lip swells tremendously. She talks funny and eats funny. Today, me and Jane identify. My lip is HUGE. It’s pretty funny looking. And of course, everyone at work wants to know what happened. One guy down in the warehouse yelled at me, “You’re supposed to duck!” Hahahaha.

8 Weeks and a Walmart adventure

Edit 10/20/02--After visiting the Dr. today I suspect that this picture may be a little beyond my eight weeks. But, its a neat picture so I'm going to leave it up
Two months! Doesn't seem like much of a milestone when I look at how far there is to go, but it sure seems like a milestone when I consider that two months ago, we weren't planning to be parents for four or five more years. According to babycenter.com, this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.


Nathan came home Friday morning and scared the living daylights out of me when he came in our room. We slept late and decided to go to the mall in the afternoon. I really wanted to get a pair of maternity pants; I'm only just a little bit bigger but it seems like anything pressing on my stomach makes me sicker. After talking to my mom I decided to just go and get a pair that I can grow into. The stretchy belly part feels so nice. I did make Nathan promise not to tell anybody that I'd already bought a pair of maternity jeans though--oh the vanity! We also found a really pretty sweater that is too big for me right now, but has lots of room to grow into and will be perfect for work. It's long and soft and warm! I'm looking forward to wearing it as it starts to get colder. At the store they had a fake belly to strap on that the saleswoman said adds 3 to 4 months. I put it on under the jeans I was trying on and we cracked up. It looked so funny, all lumpy and crooked! I wish I'd taken a picture. It was good entertainment, and we were being so silly giggling in the dressing room and whispering about what I'll "really" look like when I get bigger. However I look, I hope it's better than that!


This afternoon we went to Walmart (that pit of all that is unholy) and saw Elvis. I guess he was one of the store managers, all dressed up and singing and dancing in the middle of the aisle. He shook my hand and Nathan's, and said "Thank ya vera much" in that Elvis way. I cracked up and could NOT stop laughing. We were making horrible Elvis jokes all the way to the other end of the store. It was really nice though to see how many people smiled and laughed and looked so much happier after he talked to them. When we left Walmart we stopped outside for a few minutes. I was leaning against the wall, thinking that I was going to get sick and wondering where the nearest trash can was, and then the next thing I knew I was laying on the concrete and Nathan was calling my name in a really scared voice and a whole bunch of people were talking and the cart boy was running for a manager and some other guy was calling 911. Nathan said that I took a couple of steps and as he turned to ask me where I was going, I was already out and falling. He caught me a little bit but I was already on my way down and I still face planted on the concrete. He said he was more scared than he's ever been in his entire life, because he tried to put my head on his lap and it was just limp and I was gushing blood. When I woke up I heard the guy calling 911 and I tried to tell him not to, that I was ok, but I couldn't make the words come out. I sat up and there was blood everywhere, it had clogged up my left eye and I couldn't see. A bystander or someone brought Nathan paper towels to push against my forehead to stop the bleeding. I told him I was ok, head wounds just bleed a lot. Everyone was asking me questions and the store manager asked me if I'd had anything to eat. I wanted to tell him not to worry, that I wouldn't sue. See, I can still be a smart mouth even if I pass out. I didn't say that to him though. The fire truck came and the firemen took my blood pressure and did a blood sugar test on me, and tried to talk me into going to the ER, and then the ambulance came and did the same thing. At least they sat me in the ambulance while they did their tests and asked me all their questions. It was really embarrassing sitting on the ground in front of Walmart pouring blood! I had to sign a paper that I was refusing to go to the hospital, but they still have to charge me 200 bucks, just because they answered the call. When they let me go Nathan took me to the car and sat me down while he went back in to get me some butterfly bandages. I washed the blood off and here is what everything looked like under all of it!

The lady EMT told me that my forehead looked like a snake bit me and then ripped down. I told Nathan that he can call me the sexy snake lady now. I'm sure that I will probably have scars from those ones, since I am doctoring myself instead of going to the doctor for stitches. I would, but we can't afford it. I have just a little scrape on my nose, and a deep one on my lip. The inside of my lip is also cut from my teeth. It's really swollen. I told me mom, hey! free botox! I want to take a nap, but Nathan won't let me since he's worried I have a concussion. I am humoring him, since I scared him so badly.

Barf-day

Ok guys, here's to all of you who thought I was having such an "easy" early pregnancy. All of that "just nausea" has finally manifested itself into that monster of true sickness. Yes, folks, that's right, I have spent my evening bowing to the porcelain thrown. And thanks to Uncle Johnny Five, I know about 20 different ways to tell you that I barfed. So. Guess my baby will be healthy.

7 weeks, 1 day

This is what my baby looks like this week, and this is what baby center says about it: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.


One of my preggo books mentioned that my uterus has doubled in size in the last 7 weeks, and the baby will double in size this week.


On Saturday Nathan and I went to the junkyard. It was a lovely day, chilly and foggy with a little drizzle every now and again. I'm not being sarcastic, I really love days like that, and we've had about a week straight of them. We really like going to junkyards and looking for good deals. One time we found some sport mirrors for his truck that are typically expensive and difficult to find. This past Saturday we found a back bumper for my car. It's not the same color, but that's what paint is for. Parts for the Teggie are really expensive new, so we junkyard a lot. We also found a cap for my clutch fluid reservoir. My old one got lost somehow in the engine swap. They guy that owned the junkyard was pretty rude. You have to tell them what part you want and decide on a price before you can pull, which we did. But then while Nathan was pulling it the owner kept yelling at us, "What are you doing?" in an Indian accent. Nathan would remind him that we'd already agreed on a price, and he'd leave. Five minutes later, he'd do it all over again. I felt guilty, even though we weren't doing anything wrong! It was mucky and dirty and cold and fun!



Sunday was my day to sing in church and afterwards we went over to Thomas and Melissa's to watch the Cowboys game. I don't have any great regard for the misnamed American game that is actually played mostly with the hands so I took a nap in the recliner. It was exactly what the baby ordered. We grilled after the game was over (Cowboys won) which was good 'cause I was starving! Then the boys (N in white and Thomas in black) decided that they should try to start a fire in the burn barrel. Now remember, it's been raining for several weeks now, and all of the branches were soaked. A bucket of dryer lint, 2 empty charcoal bags, and the entire bottle of lighter fluid later, they made fire! Then they beat on their chests, grunted and screeched, and declared themselves MAN!


I'm doing well. Not throwing up, although I'm really nauseous. My mom told me that's still considered "morning" sickness. She suggested plain carbs such as rice or potatoes with a little butter, saltines, etc. I really like my whole grain toast with some chunky PB melting on it. At least then I'm getting some protein. The part that really irritates me is that I get really hungry, although nothing really sounds good, but as soon as I sit down and eat I take a couple of bites and I'm full. I mean FULL. Like, after-Thanksgiving-dinner-so-full-I-want-to-barf-FULL. So I wrap my food up and put in the fridge. A couple hours later, I'm STARVED again. So irritating. I don't like eating every few hours--I feel like a pig! I know it's actually better for us though.

6 Weeks, 1 day

According to Babycenter.com, this week: This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.

Baby's First Appointment

Wednesday was Baby’s first Dr. appointment. Nathan had finished on the car overnight and got home about 10 minutes before we had to leave for the appointment. He jumped in the shower and back out, and we left. The car runs beautifully, by the way. We sat in the little room waiting for the doctor for what felt like hours, and I was freezing in my stylish gown and paper lap cover. Nathan and I both were about to fall asleep right there. He from staying up all night, and I because I was sick L Finally Dr. H. came in and talked to us. He didn’t do another pap ( I did just see him 2 weeks ago after all) but he did do a cervical exam, which basically consisted of tickling my tonsils while pressing on my tummy. He has to watch my cervix more carefully because of the Leep procedure that I had done last year. He said my uterus was enlarged which was a good sign of pregnancy, and I told him that my baby is going to bite his finger when it comes out. He thought that was funny. (This has to do with the manner of the exam. If you don’t get this joke, you are probably a man and I am not going to explain it to you.) We talked for several minutes, and I got to ask him a lot of my questions. Unfortunately at that point I was feeling so sick that all I wanted to do was go home, so I just hit the high points and figured I’d ask him the rest at another appointment. Mostly what I wanted to know was if he would support and assist the way I would (ideally) like my pregnancy and labor to go, which is as naturally as possible. He said that he, and his partners, all try let things happen that was as that was the way women were designed. I then had to get my blood drawn but after much pumping and poking and prodding the nurse decided that she couldn’t find my vein. So she sent me down the street to Labcorp, where they managed (painfully) to find a vein and draw some blood.

All day Tuesday at work I was feeling crummy, freezing and I knew I had a fever. I got home from work and laid right down and went to sleep. I woke up around 10ish and called my mom to see if I should take a Tylenol. (Too high fever is bad for baby). She said it was probably ok, so I took it and went back to sleep. About an hour later, I woke up sweating the fever out. I had a little soup and drove over to say hello to Nathan, who was working on the car. I stayed with him for about a half hour, then went home and went back to sleep until my alarm rang Weds morning for the Dr. appointment. My fever was back when I woke up so when we got home from the Dr. I called in sick to work and went right back to bed. I slept until about 8 that night, woke up, took more Tylenol, drank some soup, and went back to bed. That night I tossed and turned with the most horrible pain ever in my hips. I literally could not find a comfortable way to lay, and woke myself up moaning in pain several times. When Nathan got home from work around 5 AM he accidentally touched my hip and it made me cry. I don’t know what was going on, but I swear if there had been a Dr’s office open at that time of day I would’ve gone. I’m guessing that it was a combination of ligaments and stuff stretching for baby (which normally doesn’t hurt me much at this point) horribly compounded by a couple days of fever. I don’t know. I gave up on sleeping around 7 AM, called in sick again, and went out to the living room and sat in Nathan’s recliner with the TV on low. That actually felt a lot better, and I was able to nap for several hours before people started waking up. I started to feel a little better throughout the day and really enjoyed actually being able to watch TV on our TV! Everyone was avoiding me like I had the plague so by the evening my Father IL, Mother IL, Sis IL (Andrea), and her husband (Justin) were all hiding out in Andrea and Justin’s room. Usually they are all in the LR and Nathan and I are in our room. It was kind of nice, and I might be mean but I didn’t feel bad about it. The recliner was the only place I was comfortable, so that was where I was going to sit. I wish I’d had my mommy though. My mommy’s takes care of me when I’m sick.

The really scary part, though, about last night was that late in the afternoon I started having some bleeding. I got ahold of the on-call doctor at Dr. H’s practice and talked to her, and she made me feel a little better, but I was still a little scared. Just because it wasn’t a planned baby doesn’t mean that I want to miscarry. I’m doing what she told me to do, but…. I can’t wait to get out of the place where we live. There is a lot of stress living where we are. A lot. We are looking for a new place.

But, here's a happier note. In three weeks Baby has its first ultrasound, and which point we will see it (OK, we’ll see a dark blob), hear it’s heartbeat, and even find out if “Baby” is “Babies”. I’ll put up the Ultrasound picture, if I can find a way, so that all of you can ooh and aah over my dark grainy blob! ;) And you better ooh and aah, or else! We’re very excited, can you tell?

5 weeks, 3 days

Not showing at 5 weeks, although I'm really bloated. In the past several days I've gotten some great gifts from a friend and from my Mummy. My mom sent me a month by month pregnancy planner. I read only through Month 1 last night, and while getting ready for work this morning realized that, hello, 5 weeks means I'm into month two. Der. It has a long list of questions to ask the doctor on your first visit so I will be utilising that. Melissa bought me a couple things; a book about what and how to eat while expecting, and a "journal" that goes day by day and tells what new developments Baby is making. It has little spots to write in how you feel, or what you think about being pregnant, or your belly measurements, or whatnot. She also got me this great herbal pregnancy tea. It's meant for early pregnancy to help the uterus and the baby's brain and all sorts of good stuff. Tastes good too. After week 34 I'll start Raspberry leaf tea instead, to prepare the uterus for delivery.

I'm still not having any sickness, although I have been a little nauseous this afternoon. My main thing is just fatigue. I feel like I'm swimming through quicksand all day. I just want a nap.....:( I'm sure every pregnant woman in the world feels that way. I found a really neat picture of what Baby looks like this week.

And here's what's going on in there, according to Babycenter.com: Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

Lucky Baby, getting to sleep all day!!

The Car

Our car has been on its last legs for several months now, and I've been putting aside money for a new engine. As the stupid thing puffed and panted it's way home on Friday night after work I grew very angry, and decided that I was going to roll it off the side of a cliff. Thankfully, I couldn't find a cliff and when I got home Nathan told me that he was getting a motor the next day and putting it in. This was the past weekend. So he worked on it on Saturday night, Sunday, Monday night, and probably will again tonight. I think he is nearly done. Thomas, who is my friend Melissa's husband and a friend of Nathans, has been helping him nearly the entire time. While our husbands worked on the junker--er, I mean, the car--Melissa picked me up and I went to their house for the weekend. We enjoyed having some girl time!

Taking the old motor out...

Old motor out...

Yes, there is a reason that my dear sweet husband is standing halfway in a manhole. You see, he has always admired the Ninja turtles and decided to take the opportunity to be like them. No, really what happened was that his keys were on his lap, and when he got out of the car (next to the storm drain) they fell out of his lap and down the drain. So he had to go down in the storm drain and find them. I guess it took him about a half hour. I wish I had been there with my camera, but Thomas took this picture for me. I think that the care should be done today, so lets pray that it runs well and is reliable for another 200,000 miles!